He Said No
by Jane Moss
Summary: Musings on the end of 'Play With Fire'. Short piece just continuing it on a bit. G/S (kind of!)


DISCLAIMER: *insert disclaimer here!* (you know the drill!)

SUMMARY: Takes place at the end of 'Play With Fire'. How does Sara take the refusal?

He Said No

By Jane Moss

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"No" A simple word said so casually as if she had asked him if he liked racecars. A shock and yet she was so sure he would refuse. Was it disappointment or surprise?

She _was_ surprised at her own persistence at such a moment. Surprised at her strength. Surprised at her ability to even speak. "It will be too late…" her words still ran through her mind as she accelerated down the darkened corridor. Behind the door she leaned against the cold brick wall and let her slow heat seep away from her. That's when it hit her full volume. A loud sob escaped her, as her hand desperately clasped her mouth in an attempt to keep it in until she made it to the safety of her home. Another sob. A violent gasp for breath. Her heart hurt so deep within her chest and all she could do was breathe. Just breathe. But even that didn't seem worth doing. May be she ought to stop it altogether. No more pain or suffering. She sunk slowly until she reached the floor, her cries getting louder and harder to control. The only man she ever loved had hurt her again. He didn't want her. She knew she had waited long enough for him. The hesitation made him inevitably 'too late'.

She tried to stop the salty tears, before she would end up embarrassing herself. This was a public corridor. The thought, though rational, seemed insignificant, in light of things. She hugged her knees and slowly rocked, trying to calm her ragged breaths, but the tears won't stop. They seemed intent on playing out her torn emotions.

She forced herself up, her tired body much heavier now. Slowly, she came back to herself and heard the slow faint sounds of her shoes against the hard floor. The doorway seemed nothing more than a watery light, dancing in the distance. She squeezed her eyes, feeling hot tears run down once more, before she willed herself to stop. It was enough. The gush of wind brought voices from the outside, reminding her of people, as she briskly wiped her sorrow away with her sleeve. Her red eyes wouldn't fool anyone. The wind was wild outside. It tossed her hair in all directions. She walked slowly, keeping her face down, in case anyone might recognise her. She was such a failure. In love with a dream. Why did she always like the perception better? Why did she follow her fantasy of him, instead of what she really saw?

Someone was approaching now. She turned away, hoping they would get the message to turn back. 

"Sara?" Out of all the hurtful replies she could think of, she kept her lips forcefully sealed. "Sara… I'm…" Grissom came closer, "look… Sara please…" What could he possibly say to make it all better now? He blew his chance and that was the biggest mistake of all. 

"What are you gonna do? Buy me another plant? Well, it's not that convenient anymore, okay?" Sara raised her voice, still keeping her face turned away from him. He shouldn't see her crying. That would make it even worse, if such a feeling existed.

He wanted to take it all back so much. He wanted all he couldn't have. His hands now found themselves at the sides of her face and her could feel her moist cheeks. Strands of her dark hair lashed at his hands from the wind. He wished more than anything to take away the pain. "Sara… lets have coffee…" He knew how pale it sounded in comparison, as soon as it left his mouth. Her head came up and left his hands holding an empty space, her warmth taken away by a gush of wind. She looked at him, her eyes red from tears, but pain was still resident in them. Coffee was an excuse. Coffee was a drop in the ocean. She had asked him to dinner. She had asked him to share his life with her. She had opened up and he ignored her.

"Coffee, isn't good enough, Grissom" she said, the wind playing with her hair. She was surprised how strong her voice sounded and how speechless it left him. Without leaving his gaze, she opened the door to her car and slid in almost artistically, leaving him to stand alone. She hoped he hurt as well. She wouldn't settle for a diversion.

**THE END**

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As you can probably tell I was quite a bit disappointed by Grissom there! He shocked me by refusing so lightly as if it was nothing. She must have been hurt… Anyway, as always, tell me what you think!  JM:)


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